Overcome Self-Promotion Shame With 3 Small Mental Shifts

Think marketing yourself is cringy? This is for you.

Dall-E

Self-promotion has a lot of negative connotations.

Posting career achievements on Instagram? Vain and out-of-touch.

Promoting yourself on LinkedIn? Scary and icky.

How about posting on… X? Twitter? Whatever it’s called, it’s definitely cringe.

Create a newsletter on Substack and publish content about your business or profession? Bah, who cares!

Self-promotion sounds VERY bad — and, honestly, I get it.

Why self-promote in the first place?

I used to live in a world where self-promotion is a big no-no. After all, not long ago, people could get ahead by just putting their heads down and working well.

But times have changed.

“Working well” is now the baseline. I’ve just listened to a podcast from Chris Do, designer and owner of The Futur. His advice to creatives? Quality work is the price of entry today, not an edge.

More than that, the world is now saturated with information. The rise of social media gave every individual a voice, a weapon to compete for attention. And humans being humans, we did exactly that -- so much so that it’s impossible to be heard without participating in the “game.”

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad to exclude yourself from it. But if you’re selling anything, running a business, or even just want a promotion at work -- self-promotion is a must.

If you don’t promote yourself, people assume you have nothing worthwhile to say, and opportunities will fly by.

Fortune used to favor the bold. Now, fortune favors those who self-promote.

That’s simply the new rules of the game.

But what if you can’t do it?

Many of us don’t have a self-promoting bone in our bodies.

And I get it because I was one of those too. I used to think that posting about yourself is cringy. After all, no one in their right mind would possibly care.

But I was wrong.

Fortunately, this is just a matter of perspective. There are ways to look at self-promotion in a healthy light.

3 Small mental shifts

The best way to promote (yourself, your services, etc.) is by not promoting at all. Or rather, to promote in a way that doesn’t come across as one-sided. To promote your value by proving it, not by talking about it.

And to do that, I think around three principles.

The principle of the kind listeners and the uncaring world

This is all for the people too anxious to make a single move:

The people who like your stuff will be kind; the rest of the world won’t care.

One of the biggest objections I had before posting stuff on social media was the fear of being mocked.

We all have an innate fear of rejection. This comes from thinking that the world is inherently hostile. And yeah, unfortunately, posting stuff online does increase the chance of catching the wrong attention.

But the more I’m into it, the more I realize that most of the world … doesn’t care. The world is big. The internet is incomprehensively big. People are living their own lives, with their own anxieties, without the time to hyperfocus on your insecurities.

But there’s a better part: those who do care are the only ones who’ll notice you.

And because they’re people who actually want to see your stuff, more often than not, they’re likely to be a kind and encouraging audience.

So, instead of thinking the world is hostile, just remember it is uncaring — except for the few people you want to talk to. They’ll be kind.

The principle of adding value

I used to think that you need to have a special kind of shamelessness to post online. To assume that people will like your posts — enough to read them, interact with them, and even share them.

This thought used to cripple me, because I don’t want to be seen as someone self-righteous or pompous.

But it turns out it doesn’t have to be like that.

True, posting stuff about yourself can be unpleasant. If you don’t believe in what you’re saying, if you’re trying to be someone you’re not.

But rather than that perspective, I invite you to think another way: What if, by posting your story, insights, or voice, you’re actually helping -- adding value? There’s someone out there who needs to hear what you said, whose life will be just a tiny bit easier, better, for having read your words.

You just have to keep them in mind. You’re doing this for them.

True, you’re “promoting” yourself -- but not as someone who’s pretending to have all the answers, or selling fake dreams. If you’re showing yourself as a peer, a guide, maybe even a friend, then you’re doing good by getting your words out there.

The principle of practicing in public

Before I could post and build an audience, I thought I had to be the best at something. After all, what else can I write about?

But if everybody only talked about what they’ve already mastered, the internet would be much smaller. It wouldn’t be as exciting of a place.

See, most people go online to learn something at their level.

When you want to learn audience-building, writing, or AI, messages from multi-millionaires like Alex Hormozi probably wouldn’t fit you 100%.

Instead, you’ll look at fellow beginners, like that random guy on Substack.

So, instead of thinking, “I don’t have anything to post,” ask yourself, “What cool thing can I learn -- and how might other people learn this too?”

Right now, I’m posting about helping people write better, faster, and more human -- with, or without AI. I’d like to think I’m okay at it, and my clients and audience seem to think so. But am I the best writer in the world? Definitely not.

Just like many of you, I’m practicing in public. Maybe I’m just a little bit ahead of everyone, maybe our paths are adjacent enough that we can learn from each other. The point is, you don’t need to be a millionaire veteran influencer just to have an impact.

Don’t let fear hinder you from your potential

If you want to get ahead of the 1000s of other people in the same industry and line of work, one of the best things you can do is publish valuable things online.

But you can’t do that if you inherently fear promoting yourself.

To help you along, we talked about three small mental shifts that will help you start putting your stuff out there:

1. Your audience isn’t hostile, it’s uncaring at worst, and kind at best.

2. Self-promotion is not braggy or unpleasant, it’s adding value to your audience’s lives.

3. Instead of thinking, “I don’t have anything to post,” ask yourself, “What cool thing can I learn?”

Once you’ve internalized these shifts, building online and engaging with the world -- promoting yourself -- won’t be as scary and cringy.

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PS. It seems easy, but I’m not gonna lie -- taking the first steps to create your personal brand or content business is often the hardest. If you need any help, I offer 5 spots per week for free assessment calls. DM or email me for details.